~ Wahyu Pilihan ~

Firman Allah, "Wahai manusia! Sungguh, telah datang Rasul (Muhammad) kepadamu dengan (membawa) kebenaran dari Tuhanmu, maka berimanlah (kepadanya), itu lebih baik bagimu. Dan jika kamu kafir, (itu tidak merugikan Allah sedikitpun) kerana sesungguhnya milik Allah-lah apa yang dilangit dan di bumi. Allah Maha Mengetahui, Maha Bijaksana" Surah An-Nisa' 4:170


Thursday, March 18, 2010

PIndah ke blog baru

Aslm wbt

dearest loyal readers,

ana telahpun berpindah ke alamat blog yang baru http://azribohari.wordpress.com. harap semua boleh beri komen, and subscribe blog itu pula. =)

Azri

Tuesday, December 01, 2009

Merehat minda dengan Rubik's cube







Assalamualaikum wbt.

This is a video that i recently took when relaxing. =) Its a decent solve, 39 secs, 42 secs and 45 secs.

The website that i used as the timer for my solves is http://www.cubetimer.com. The site also generates random scramble sequences (thats why i always look at the screen to scramble my cube before trying to solve them). I set the inspection time to 10 secs (so, the timer starts 10 seconds after i press the spacebar. If u listen carefully, theres a beep sound before i start solving the cube. It rings 3 times, indicating the last 3 seconds of the inspection time) to give some time for me to inspect the cube and plan my solve. The timer will stop when i press the spacebar again.

I solve the cube using the Fridrich Method, but I havent mastered the complete technique. I am currenly using F2L, 2 look OLL and PLL (sometimes I still opt for 2 look PLL).

Enjoy!

Azri

p/s: sorry, muka ana a bit serious. huhu..



Sunday, November 29, 2009

Exams

Dengan Nama Allah Yang Maha Pemurah Lagi Maha Pengasihani


Sebenarnya ana sekarang ni lagi berisi dari nih.. huhu


Assalamualaikum wbt buat pembaca sekalian.


Few.. azribohari.blogspot.com sekali lagi menyaksikan kesunyian yang berpanjangan.. What can I say.. Mmg tak berbakat la 'menjaga' blog nih. hehe.. Tapi banyak sangat peristiwa2 yang besar mahupun yang kecil yang berlaku sepanjang tempoh senyap nih.. The ups and the downs, yang happy dan yang sedih.. victories and failures.. semua ni lumrah dalam kehidupan. betul tak? But seorang ukhti pernah berkata, kalau kita terus menerus bersedih atas suatu musibah atau kegagalan, ianya tidak akan membawa manfaat. Ianya tidak akan menghapuskan the underlying problem. But if we keep a positive attitude, and work and put some effort to solve it, itulah yang lebih baik. Rasa sedih itu lumrah, tapi sikap positive itu anugerah.


Exams is just around the corner

As I have told before, tahun ni ana mengulang tahun kedua perubatan di National University of Ireland, Galway. And for this semester, I'm only repeating one module - which is Endocrinology. It consists of Physiology, Anatomy and Biochemistry sections. Antara tiga 'subject' ni, biochem lah yang paling banyak. Oleh kerana ade masa yang banyak (satu semester untuk belajar satu subject je padahal yang lain2 ade 5 subject), ana tried to read the 'Textbook of Medical Physiology" by Guyton and Hall. Medical students would know this book and terpegun bila ada orang membacanya. hehe.. Bukan apa, ana memilih untuk membaca buku pun sebab it helps to connects the dots dalam lecture notes. Kadang2 dalam lecture notes ni lecturer letak point form je, or simplified explanation. Textbooks helps us to understand better, or harapnya begitu lah. huhu.. Antara topic yang ana paling suka is the Thyroid Gland and Its Hormones. Rasanya dah ulang beberapa kali kot bab ni dalam buku Guyton. Thyroid is one of the most important hormones dalam badan kita. We need thyroid hormones sejak dari fetal phase sampailah ke tua..

Thyroid hormone ni consists of Triiodothyronine (t3) and Thyroxine (t4). Di peringkat production, t4 takes up almost 97% of the total concentration of thyroid hormones but eventually almost all of the t4 will be converted to t3 as most of the effect is exerted by t3. Antara kesani utama thyroid hormone ni adalah

1. Tumbesaran dan pembentukan otak semasa dalam rahim.

2. Stimulation of carbohydrate metabolism that includes rapid uptake of glucose by cells, enhanced break down of glycogen, enhanced production of glucose production from non-carbohydrate carbon substances (gluconeogenesis), rate of absorption from GIT, etc.

3. Stimulation of fat metabolism that includes mobilization of lipids from fat tissue, increase FFA in plasma and oxidation of FFA by cells.

4. Increases basal metabolic rate (BMR) yang buat kita rasa cepat penat, kurang berat badan, 'badan rase panas'.

5. Various cardiac responses such as increased blood flow and CO, increased HR and heart strength, increased systolic and decreased diastolic pressure.

6. Increased respiration. tau tak kenape? since BMR increased, our body needs a lot of oxygen and produce a lot of wastes. respiration helps to replenish

7. Increased Gastrointestinal motility.

8. Dan lain2 (banyak la pulak. huhu)

Thyroid hormone pun buat kite susah nak tidur, sebab die stimulate nervous system kite. hyperthyroid patient is likely to have extreme nervousiness and many psychoneurotic tendencies such as anxiety complexes, paranoia and extreme worry. Oh ya, satu lagi. dari aspek sexual pula, lack of thyroid hormone causes loss of libido (hilang nafsu seks) in both male n female, manakala hyperthyroidism pula causes impotence in male, tapi effect pada female berbeza2 mengikut patient. kadang2 it can cause excessive and frequent menstrual bleeding, dan kadang2 boleh cause irregular periods and even amenorrhoea (tiada menses).



Muka depan GM edisi Nov that i designed.. (maaf diyana, tak segempaq yang disangka)



Itu je kot setakat ni.. dah tak da idea dah. I'll keep u updated if ada any news. =)

Hugs and Kisses,
Azri

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Turning A New Leaf.

In the name of Allah, The Most Gracious, The Most Merciful


A period of silence


Above is a screenshot of my FB profile. Zarith, kawan baik ana melaungkan kata2 yang sering pembaca2 blog ni suarakan - UPDATE YOUR BLOG, AZRI! Hehe, entahlah. When Im not in the mood to write, mmg tak boleh produce an entry. When was the last time I posted an entry? Mid august, i think. That was when i was ireland for my repeat exams. hehe... Sorry ah buat mereka yang ternanti2.


A summary of Me

Em, ape yang nak dibagitau eh? Lets see... Ok, Im now back in Galway, repeating a few modules of my second year. For this semester, Im only repeating Endocrinology module, so sedikit lapang la.. The last class for this module was on last monday, so now im free sampai lah final exam in December. Thats plenty of time to study! The rest of 2nd year students are having their CNS, Molecular Medicine, Genetics and Reproduction lectures which i have already passed last year. Alhamdulillah, I have plenty of time for my tarbiyyah. Im hoping to cover lots of pengisian2 that ive missed, and memorize some surah n hadis. Hope that the routine during Ramadhan will continue for the rest of the year.

I also joined the Sport centre in NUIG. I started going there to run, swim , stretch and build some muscles. hehe.. perut dah membesar dah ni, gotta lose some weight! I managed to find an appropriate attire for swimming - a pair of tights used for running (which covers aurat for males) and a short. I think wearing three-quarter pants is better, along with the tights. Nanti la carik yang murah2. huhuhu.. Tengah nak cari baju tight pula.

Im also moving to a new house. A friend of mine is going back to Malaysia for good, so i took his place. The room is very2 small - about only a quarter (yes, a 1/4!!) of my current room. Heh, that needs some gettin' used to. I dont even know whether all my stuff fits in that room.. But, alhamdulillah, I've been eyeing that house for quite some time now. Alhamdulillah, Allah answers my prayers. And the best part is, Im leaving my current house without any 'issue'. I played 'clean'. Selama ni i refused to leave that house because i think it is zalim for me to 'force' newcomers to fill my expensive room, but alhamdullah, in the end Allah send someone who willingly accept this room. Alhamdulillah again, Allah lah yang melindungi hamba2nya dari fitnah2. I've been living in probably one of the largest rooms rented by Malaysian student in galway for almost two years. And the rent is one of the most expensive too.. sheeshh.. It really affected my pocket!


Raya in Malaysia



Since the registration date for repeat student is the 30th of Sep, I stayed back in Malaysia to celebrate raya. It was AWESOME!! After two years celebrating raya in Ireland, I am more than sure that raya in Malaysia is THE BEST! My aunty who married an australian went back to Malaysia too! so I was able to meet my cousin, Hannah. Sangat2 comel! And she likes to play "Tickle2". hehe.. sangat sweet.. Hannah is the one wearing baju kurung warna biru laut. Isnt she pretty? This year, alhamdulillah, I 'tamat' tarawikh, along with puasa. hehe.. The first time ever. Maybe this be 'noktah bidayah as sahihah'. Banyak jugak dapat duit raya walaupun dah besar, lol..


Hikmah

Many people look at me with this 'sympathy' look, sebab i have to repeat my second year. But frankly, I am not sad. Before the result came out, 60% of my heart tells me that I want to repeat year. I felt that I have lots to re'study'. I feel that i dont know enough.. So, just want some time to get myself back together and study as hard as i could, so that when i start my third year, im in tip top condition. Yes, the first few days was appaling.. But allah has shown the many hikmah of my repeat. Since I was in Malaysia, banyak sangat benda yang berlaku and.. I now know that indeed what happened to me, is the best for me. So, to my dearest friends, I truly and deeply appreciate that you guys sympathize. But insyaAllah, I am stronger now - wiser - more mature - than I can ever be. Yes i know that i have lots to prove - to my parents and in-laws to be, sponsors, guarantor, etc. But insyaAllah, I will try to bounce back with a bang!


New hobby: Rubik's Cube



I was introduced to this addictive puzzle by Amin Shamsudin, when i was in ireland for my repeat exams. He played it while i was busy studying. After the repeat exams I started learning how to solve it. Now, I am officially a Rubik's enthusiast! hehe.. Well, my average is still mediocre - around 40-70 seconds and my personal best is just 34 secs. Ill keep on practising until I reach a sub-20 sec average. hehe..

I guess thats all for now. I hope that a new entry will pop out of my brain soon. heh..

Salam 1Akidah,
Azri Bohari


Monday, August 10, 2009

Subhanallah!

Salam wbt.

Subhanallah. Subhanallah. Subhanallah. Something magnificient happened to me today. All praises be to Allah, the All knowing, Most Gracious, most Merciful. Yang memahami isi hati dan keperluan hambaNya, dan menjawab rayuan hambaNya yang meminta. Yang tak pernah bosan dan murka bila hambaNya minta macam orang tak tau malu. (dah merapu2 dah, huhu. tapi betul, ana sangat2 gembira!)

Most of u might have already known that ana terpaksa mengulang beberapa paper untuk 2nd year of medicine ni. One of them is Drugs and Disease module (Pharmacology)..

Module ini merangkumi CNS Drugs, CVS Drugs, Endocrine drugs, Immunopharmacology dan NSAIDs and anaesthesia. MEdical students (especially NUIG) must have known that THATS A LOT TO COVER!~

Alkisahnya ana pun usaha dan usaha.. dengan daya ketahanan yang rendah, dan tekanan yang menimpa, unfortunately ana tak sempat nak cover semua. 'Dan yang dibaca pula, ingat2 lupa. I called my parents many times dalam studying period untuk exam ni (the paper before was last thursday, so hari jumaat, sabtu, ahad dan pagi tadi sebelum exam), saying that im afraid.. perasaan menghadapi exam ni sedikit berbeza dengan paper sebelumnya. (i hope that i pass the last paper, rasa2nya cam boleh jawab).

So, there I was, walking towards the exam hall dengan hati yang penuh bimbang. Berjalan sambil baca notes dan rasa tertekan kerana kesukaran utnuk mengingat semua.. (setiap ubat ada nama yang pelik2, yang most of the time tak de kene mengene dengan function, ada mechanism of action, half life, metabolism, exzcretion, uses, actions, adverse effects, contradindication, administration, etc2).

Sesampainya ana di exam hall, i went to the notice board yang memaparkan senarai nama untuk exam. Ana berdiri kat depan tu for more than 10 mins kot, looking again and again, tapi ana tak jumpa gak my name (and my year dan course - 2MB3). Ana mula rasa risau. Takut2 dia tukar tanpa ana sedari, and the new date if BEFORE 10 Aug. Dengan penuh tawakkal, ana masuk exam hall dan berjumpa dengan person in charge. I told him that i was scheduled for an exam this morning, but my name and subject is not on the list.. He said to me, calm down and take ur time, i'll check for ya..

Lubb Dubb... Lubb Dubb.... Lubb Dubb...


"It has been change to 14 Aug, morning session"

............................

Subhanallah.. rupa2nya exam tadi dah ditukar ke 14 Aug! I was really happy dan tidak putus2 memuji2, memuja dan membesarkan Allah. Ana laung takbir raya (because i understand the meaning) sepanjang perjalanan balik ke rumah dengan penuh rasa syukur. Allah faham keperluan ana, and He literally gave me more time to study. Maha Suci Allah! Benarlah firman Allah dalam al Quran yang ada menyebut, sekiranya kita membantu agama Allah, Allah akan membantu kita. Tawakkal ana pada Allah dibalas dengan pertolonganNya. Subhanallah, subhanallah, subhanallah...

Teringat satu cerita yang pernah diceritakan oleh ust muntalaq ttg seorang daie di aussie (or NZ). Pada satu exam tu, ada program dan hari isnin selepasnya (or dalam minggu tu) dia ada exam. There was no one who can handle that program, so he/she had to uruskan dengan program, instead of spending time 24 hours reading books. Daie tadi sat for the exam, and became the top student in his/her class in that exam. satu lagi kisah, sisters rasanya, nak buat satu daurah/program. tapi tak da masa lain yang sesuai. jatuh pada minggu exam.. tiba2 pihak university menangguhkan exam pada minggu yang lain, and they manage to go on with the program.

Im not saying that pergilah buat dakwah, janganlah study. Jauh sekali. Kita sebagai muslim seharusnya berusaha bersungguh2. Kalau 'sekali round' of our notes is the max yang kita mampu, we should do it twice! (ada unsur hiperbola.. huhu )Tapi kejayaan dan kegagalan kita terletak atas izin Allah. Kalau kita study sungguh2pun, tadi tiada berkat, ataupun memang bukan rezeki kita, we will fail. and if kita tak sempat study, or ada aral melintang, kalau Allah izin, we will excel jugak. mana la tau, notes2 yang sikit yang kita manage to read tadilah yang keluar exam.

Message ana, hidup kita tergantung sepenuhnya pada Allah. Jadilah hamba yang setia, dan bantulah agamaNya, nescaya Allah akan beri rezeki dari jalan yang tak disangka2. Percayalah. Islam kini dipandang serong. Orang yang beramal, dipandang kolot. Orang yang taat, dipandang lekeh. Usrah/halaqah dipandang pincang. Daurah dan majlis ilmu, tiada dalam list of things yang nak dijoin. Bila orang nak jaga hubungan, dikata anti-sosial. Benar islam itu luas, bukan sekadar usrah, daurah, majlis ilmu, etc. Tapi adakah benar kita hamba yang taat. Cukupkah sekadar solat, puasa, haji dan zakat? Relakah kita andai diseru berjihad? Periksalah hati, penuh cermat.


Yang rasa excited sangat nak share cerita ni,

Azri Bohari
@NUIG


Friday, August 07, 2009

Bercuti..

Aslm wbt all..

Maaf la if blog if tak di update. Ana sedang 'bercuti' daripada keje2 lain atas urusan yang sangat penting. Will be back mid aug, insyaAllah. Doa2kan!

Azri

Thursday, July 02, 2009

Akhirnya..


Dengan Nama Allah Yang Maha Pemurah Lagi Maha Mengasihani


Segala puji bagi Allah, Tuhan Sekelian Alam. Selawat dan Salam ke atas Junjungan Besar kita Nabi Muhammad SAW, kaum kerabatnya, para sahabatnya dan mereka yang mengikuti jejak langkahnya sehingga ke Hari Pengadilan.

SeTera kemaafan

It has been a long time since my last post in this blog. A staggering
66 days! I would like to apologize to my fellow readers. Ana yakin ramai yang ternanti2 kesinambungan dari entry 'Mengenang Kisah Lama' yang ana publish 28 April yang lalu. Mungkin ada yang even 'putus asa' menanti. Huhu. I know how 'unpleasant' it is bila kita tertunggu2. So, in the future, ana cuba untuk tidak 'mewujudkan rasa harap' dikalangan pembaca, unless ana bersungguh2 dan 'hampir2 benjanji' to update on time. Sungguh, ana tak boleh janji untuk mengupdate blog secara kerap / berkala. Kadang 'ada rasa' nak update blog, tapi fikiran kosong. Nothing to be written. Hm.. Have you ever experience that?

Recap: Mengenang Kisah Lama

Entry 'Mengenang Kisah Lama' mengisahkan perihal kisah hidup ana ketika berada di Kolej Datu Patinggi Abang Haji Abdillah, dari Tingkatan 1 hingga Tingkatan 2. Ia menceritakan bagaimana ana pernah dipulau oleh rakan2, dan dibenci oleh ramai orang. Itulah akibatnya bila kita mengamalkan
akhlak hina dan 'meninggalkan' Allah. Entry tu diakhiri dengan permulaan kepada episod "bagaimana ana menerima hidayah direct dari Allah".

Sambungan: Dari kegelapan ke sinar cahaya

Apabila mendengar ceramah2 ttg hari kiamat dari cikgu Jemali, hati selalunya cemas. Nafas akan mula melaju dan ana merasai ketakutan yang amat sangat. Malam tu tentunya fikiran ana akan terus menerus memikirkan kata2nya. One thing about me, if im worried ke, it is very difficult for me to put it aside, and it will occupy my mind sehinggakan sangat sukar ana nak fikir ttg bende lain.

Tapi, lumrah manusia nih, imannya naik dan turun. Bila keluar dari surau tu, dan setelah hidup dalam ketakutan selama beberapa jam or beberapa hari, ana mula lupa semula dan kembali ke asal. Sangat menyedihkan bila terkenang balik senario nih. Kemudian, bermulalah a series of dream yang menggoncangkan hati dan mengubah hidup ana selama2nya.

Tarbiyah dari Ilahi : Mimpi

Ada beberapa jenis mimpi yang ana terima, so i'll just simplify as follows:

1. Matahari terbit dari barat

Sabda Nabi S.A.W

” Dari Abu Hurairah mengatakan Rasulullah s.a.w bersabda: Tidak akan berlaku Kiamat, sehinggalah matahari berubah arah, naik dari barat dan turun ke arah timur. Apabila berlaku sedemikian nanti, banyaklah manusia kufur akan memeluk Islam ketika itu, akan tetapi beriman di waktu itu tidak berguna sekiranya mereka tidak beriman sebelumnya.

( Hadis Riwayat Bukhari dan Muslim)

Dalam hadis yang lain

Rasulullah s.a.w bersabda (mafhumnya) : “Sesungguhnya Allah SWT membuka peluang kepada orang-orang yang berdosa pada siang hari agar segera bertaubat pada malam hari, dan membuka peluang yang berdosa pada malam hari,agar segera bertaubat pada siang hari, sehinggalah matahari bertukar arah,naik dari barat, turun ke arah timur.” (Hadis Riwayat Muslim)


Dalam mimpi2 ana tu, biasanya digambarkan ketika matahari terbit. Akan kelihatan warna kekuningan di ufuk where matahari selalunya terbenam. Kemudian, matahari pun terbit dari arah barat. Mimpi ni ada variety. Aje yang jenis, matahari terbit dari barat, then ana rasa sangat takut. Ada pula jenis cam ni: Bila matahari terbit dari barat, ramai pelajar2 berkumpul disurau dan membaca yasin. Pada saat itu, jantung ana mula berdegup kencang, dan nafas mulai melaju. Ana rasai ketakutan yang AMAT SANGAT. Pernah sekali tu, ana terbangun dek mimpi tu, dan i was so afraid that ana mula sesak nafas. TAKUT SEHINGGA SESAK NAFAS! Mimpi2 tu seakan2 benar. Ana seolah2 tak dpt bezakan mimpi dan realiti.

Pada zaman tu, setiap kali ana bangun pagi, hati ana akan diselubungi rasa takut. Kemudian, antara perkara pertama yang ana lakukan ialah, melihat ke luar tingkap, dan melihat langit. I will ask myself 'agaknya dari mana matahari akan terbit hari ni?", "Is today 'the day'?"etc. Pernah beberapa kali langit berwarna kuning di arah matahari terbenam, and I was so convinced that hari tu is 'the day'. Sepanjang hari ana ketakutan. Dan setiap hari juga, bila ana melihat matahari terbenam di barat, I will feel a littl relief, dan bersedia untuk keesokan harinya pula. And it lasted more months... Antara hari yang paling merisaukan ana is bila hari tu mendung je, sebab kita tak leh nampak kat mana matahari pada hari tu..

2. Dari jijik jahiliyah ke sinar hidayah

Satu lagi bentuk mimpi yang ana terima is.. I was walking through a narrow, filthy lane. Lorong tu sangat sempit, dan udaranya berhabuk, kotor dan sukar untuk ana bernafas. I also remember walking fast and I was afraid. Ana berjalan terus ke hadapan dengan laju kerana tak tahan dengan lorong tu.

Setelah berjalan2, akhirnya ana nampak satu cahaya di hujung lorong. I walked towards the light. Dan bila ana sampai ke cahaya tu, tiba2 ana sampai ke satu hall yang sangat besar. Segala2 terang benderang dengan cahaya putih. Ada satu meja makan bujur yang sangat besar dan dikelilingi kerusi, kedua2nya berwarna putih. Dan bila tiba di bilik tu, ana berasa sangat gembira, dan mata ana mengeluarkan air mata. Mimpi ni pendek je, yup2. Semua mimpi ni, ana dapat ketika ana belajar di Kolej Datu Patinggi Abang Haji Abdillah/

Ini la mimpi2 yang mengubah hidup ana. Thanks to Allah Yang Maha Mengasihani. Ana doakan agar semua diberikan hidayah juga olehNya.


** Nantikan part ke-3: Imanic U-Turn!**






Saturday, May 02, 2009

Kem Eksplorasi Minda 2009 Kuching

Aslm wbt.


Alhamdulillah, tahun ni ISAC Studio akan menganjurkan programnya buat kali kedua. Blog rasmi Kem Eksplorasi Minda 2009 Kuching telahpun dilancarkan. Sila layari http://kem09borneo.blogspot.com untuk maklumat lanjut.

Azri

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Mengenang kisah lama..

*Part of this entry was written on my birthday, the 15th of April 2009


Dengan Nama Allah yang Maha Pemurah Lagi Maha Mengasihani



Assalamualaikum wbt.

Alhamdulillah, pada hari ini, ana telahpun mencapai usia 22 tahun. All the ups and downs of life telah banyak mengajar ana erti hidup, dan inilah yang akan ana ceritakan dalam blog entry kali ni. Rata2nya ramai yang ingin mendengar kisah hidup ana yang penuh pancaroba dan harapnya anda semua boleh mengambil iktibar daripadanya. Tetapi sebelum itu, ana ingin mengucapkan terima kasih kepada semua yang telah mengucapkan selamat hari lahir pada ana dari Malaysia, UK, Ireland, Indonesia, Russia, Czech, US, dan lain2. Ana sangat2 hargai kerana ucapan2 anda semua sangat menggembirakan hati ana yang sunyi di bumi Galway ini.


Ana telah bersekolah di Kolej Datu Patinggi Abang Haji Abdillah, Kuching (kolej, in short) ketika ana berusia 13 tahun. Sekolah tersebut merupakan sekolah harian kawalan, which means that sebahagian dari pelajarnya merupakan pelajar harian, dan sebahagian daripadanya menetap di asrama sekolah. Adalah menjadi impian ayah ana untuk menghantar ana ke sekolah asrama, so I had to stay kat asrama eventhough rumah kami sangat dekat. I hated the dorm sebab sangat homesick. I remember crying on my first day of school in kolej, huhu.

Pada ketika itu ana belum mengenal erti solat 5 kali sehari. Gaya hidup islam belum menjadi gaya hidup ana. Pada ketika itu, ana menjadi rimas. Lebih2 lagi dengan senior2 yang tidak mengerti 'seni dakwah'. Suasana di Kuching adalah berbeza dengan suasana di semenanjung Malaysia (pada ketika itu). Mungkin sebab ana berasal dari sekolah missionari sebelumnya (Sekolah Rendah Bantuan St. Joseph). Ramai juga yang tidak menjaga solatnya, dan Islam ana hanya pada nama... sedih betul bila terkenang kembali..

Pada ketika itu juga, akhlak ana sangat pincang. Tak fikir perasaan orang lain.. Hanya memikirkan diri sendiri. ( Ana tak reti sangat camne nak cerita). Tapi dipendekkan cerita, i was hated oleh ramai sangat orang. Part ni la yang ana kata, ana dibenci satu sekolah (Don't take it literally la..). Baik satu batch or akak2 n abang2. Baik yang asrama, mahupun yang harian. Ana pernah di pulau oleh kawan2. Just imagine, time tu ana masih tingkatan satu. Bersendirian.. Nasib baiklah Allah masih sayangkan ana, dengan menganugerahkan seorang sahabat yang sangat setia. His name was Maisarah Husin. (Yes, a He. selalunya nama maisarah tu, perempuan.. huhu). Dia lah yang membongkarkan pemulauan ana tu pada ana. I wasn't sure (or was ignorant) about it. I remember he said to me, "I feel that i have to tell u this. Aku kesian sangat kat ko..". Dialah yang masih mahu mendampingi ana di kala semua menjauhi ana. I was so hated, sampai ada komplot2 yang nak gulingkan ana dari menjadi ketua kelas (Sebelum itu, ketua kelas kami seorang perempuan, ana timbalan. But she moved to Sekolah Menengah Sains, so I replaced her). Ana ingat lagi kisah tu. Diorang dah lantik ketua kelas baru, dan ajk2 yang lain. (I remember nama ketua kelas yang diorang lantik tu - Shaharuddin - a very smart guy! I wonder how his doing now..) Huhu.. sehingga sekecik2 jawatan tu pun, mungkin sebab diorang sngat tak suka, diorang gulingkan ana. But ana dengan tak malunya ketika itu (malunya bila teringat balik akhlak dlu2!) stood in front of the class, and said to everyone, "i know the plots that you guys are planning. And I know that the new KK has started 'working', but im telling you guys, STOP IT! (Macam kes ala2 Zambry dengan Nizar lak..)". I performed quite well kat sekolah, getting at least no. 2 dalam kelas, sehingga tingkatan 2.




A video of me playing one of my fav sports (other than badminton!)


I stayed kat asrama sehingga tingkatan dua. I left the dorm because I was selected by Majlis Sukan Negara (MSN) for the National Youth Development Program in Tenpin Bowling. Heh, that was one of the veeeerry few sports that I am good at.. huhu. Teringat sorang abg ni, kalau tak silap nama dia abg Wan, he met me kat surau kolej, and said "Azri, i heard that u are leaving asrama. But, I think you should stay. Sebab people are having a negative perception towards u. Nak dapat kepercayaan sorang susah, tapi nak hilangkannya sangatlah senang. You should try to change that first.." I remember thanking him for the advice, but the decision to leave the asrama was not amendable. Lagipun, mmg ana mencari peluang untuk keluar dari asrama sejak tingkatan 1 lagi..

Banyak lagi kisah2 pelik yang telah ana buat dlu2, but I want to share with you guys the important part of my story - bagaimana Allah memberi hidayah pada ana..




If I can recall properly, I started when I was in form 2. A nice abg called Cikgu Jemali always come to our surau, and giving tazkirah and ceramahs. Dia follow jemaah tabligh. Selalu juga jumpa dia sehingga sekarang, sebab he occasionally visit the surau dekat2 rumah ana. He used to give tazkirah ttg hari kiamat, dan juga alam barzakh. Ana sangat2 terkesan dengan ceramah2nya, sehingga menggigil2 ketakutan. Tapi, lepas keluar dari surau, ana kembali ke asal. Beginilah manusia, iman naik dan turun. Sekejap ingat, lepas tu lalai.. Haish. Tapi Allah sayang pada ana, dan bermula siri mimpi yang menggoncangkan hati....



*** Untuk kesinambungan cerita ini, pastikan anda semua mengunjungi blog saya! (To be continued...)***



Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Tenang tapi hairan.. (Updated..)


Bismillahirrahmanirrahim

Aslm wbt.

Hati ana tiada perasaan.. seperti yang dinyatakan di atas, tenang tapi hairan.. dengan masalah peribadi yang biasanya akan merobek hati dan menghilangkan fokus ke arah bende2 lain, ditambah dengan jasad yang rasa feverish, sometimes throbbing headache, batuk yang productive and painful, dan hampir senantiasa rasa fatigue walaupun dah banyak berehat dan lecture notes yang banyak giler (i repeat, banyak sangat!) tapi hati tak da mood nak study and I'm feeling sangat selamba and worry-free padahal exam bermula jumaat ni (orang lain semua gelabah sampai kecut perut). With my current state, Im sure to fail my exams. But despite all that, I am emotionless - nothing - nada.... Is this a test from Allah? Have I become less human? Or am I extremely stressed out till I dont 'feel' anymore? I am a patient person, I really am. I have the ability to calm myself down, even in difficult situation. But is this (what I am feeling now, or to be more precise, what I am not feeling now) due to the abilities that I mentioned, or is it due to extreme stress? Frankly, I dont know...

Oh, Allah. I may look strong, but I am desperately in need of strength and determination from You, O the Most Gracious One.. I beg You to show me Your path. I believe whole-heartedly that if You have destined anything for me, it will be mine, eventhough the whole world is against it, and I do believe whole-heartedly that if its not destined to be mine, it will slip away from my hands eventhough it looks definite or very promising. To You I surrender, and to You I beg for mercy.


To you, my promises are true.



Yang dah cuba 3 kali yesterday,
Azri

p/s: sangat suka entry terbaru http://www.najibnaili.com entitled 'penat sangat'.

***Sambungan

9.40pm

Setelah solat tadi, barulah ana sedar... I do feel the feelings that I should have felt. Yes, my mind is indeed occupied by the problems that I'm having. But, I try to be in denial and try to focus on what I should prioritize. Its difficult though, but I'm doing this (trying to be in denial) because because of the problem itself. I must perform in my exams. I must be excellent. I must show that I am competent and reliable..... If it can be settled as soon as possible, it would be much better... And yea, I am worried that I still have lots to read, but I am calm because I know Allah is with me. And I know, that Allah wants me to try as hard as I could, then seek for his help. But I bow to Him, even before I try, because I need strength, determination and focus from Him. However, I do feel emotionless on my current health status, because I know, this is just a test from Allah. Sakit menghilangkan dosa2 kecil.

Subhanallah, benarlah kata2 Allah. Solat itu menenangkan kita, hiburan buat yang bertaqwa. Mintalah pertolongan dariNya dengan sabar dan solat.

Alhamdulillah, I'm back on my feet and to you, again, my promises are true

Azri